Hahaha. What would I do without your support, Karen?? And your humor! I'm hurrying to get my new socks finished so I can share them here. I'm making wool socks even though I can't really wear wool. In fact, I think I'll go ahead and share them, even though they aren't finished yet. It was tricky trying to start the yarn at the right place to make the design fall the same way in the second sock as it did in the first. I didn't get it quite right. I can see now why mismatched socks have become popular. It would have been easier to let the second sock form whatever pattern it wanted to rather than trying to start with the same color at exactly the right place! I need a sock knitting class. Maybe I can get my second one finished during our next session of "Golden Girls" and knitting!

I keep hearing weight loss advice everywhere. It seems that dieting has been shown to "never work." Now we are advised to lose weight by forgetting about diets. Instead we should just watch what we eat, avoid sugar, watch portion sizes, write down everything we eat, when we eat it, why we ate it and how we felt after we ate it. TV says "this is not a diet--follow our guide and menus. . ." HOW IS THIS NOT DIETING??? Books say, "Think yourself thin!"

OK. There must be some sense in there somewhere. I'm going to lose weight by willing myself to do so with the power of positive thinking. I'll let you know how it goes. Seriously.

New Year

"Faith is believing that one of two things will happen, she said, that there will be something solid to stand on, or you will be taught to fly."

I don't know who wrote that. It's on a magnet that I bought in Ocracoke, NC, last summer. It gives me the courage to live life the way I choose--not that it's been very daring so far. Still, I like it--in case I do decide to take some kind of leap someday. And I did try Caviar over Christmas!

I can't believe I haven't written since June. Too much has happened since then to catch up on, but it's been an awesome 6 months. We've had a second wedding that was beautiful in the mountains of WV. And we have another one coming this summer on the Bay. Christmas was awesome and New Year's Eve was lots of fun. After Christmas we hit some sales and I have almost a whole new wardrobe to inspire me to do the New Year thing again and get vibrant and healthy. I'm excited about my coming projects for January. I'm knitting socks, trying new recipes and making a "pie a month" with a friend. And I'm planning a wedding with my daughter. I'll be sharing some of my favorite things here.

A Rainy Day

I have been busy renewing a long-neglected garden. Most plants are planted and seeds are sprouting. It has been a long time since I've had a spring that was free to spend in my garden and my potting shed. Yesterday I stopped at a little nursery I love and picked out just a couple more flowers to plant--white ones--nicotiana, penta and nierembergia. But I'll have to wait a couple days until the garden dries out a little. We had quite a bit of rain last night. The storm has left the garden looking like a bad party. On bright sunny days the golden coreopsis stands tall, swaying with the lightest breeze, attracting the rusty colored Fritillary. This morning its stems are laying every which way leaning into nearby feverfew and peony. As I approach to get a closer look a cloud of goldfinches takes to the air. I wonder why they were in the coreopsis. Can there be seeds there already for them? The fairy rose that normally arches gracefully with long branches of light pink blooms has become heavy and sodden—drooping over an area much bigger than its allotted space. I have to find a tall stake to prop up the clematis, “Polish Spirit” that is pulling over a trellis far too small for all its exuberant growth. It is thick with purple starry flowers. My son brought it home for me from a nursery where he held a summer job last year. It was tiny when he gave it to me in a black plastic pot. True to its name it now needs a sturdy support, which my husband promises to build for me in the west border very soon. The lady’s mantle is mud-splattered, a fading lily has lost its last petals and the borders generally look beaten down. But I know the earth has benefited from the deep soaking of the storm followed by a night of steady rain and the next sunny day will bring a burst of growth similar to a rain forest. I’ve seen it many times. I check on the striped green caterpillars of the black swallowtail. There were about ten of them on the rue, parsley and dill. There are fewer now and I wonder if some of them have fed birds that are always looking for morsels in the garden. I have read that a person can have many butterflies or many birds, but not both. At dusk two deer come out of the back woods to visit a salt block and nibble some nearby grass. They are pretty but I hope they don’t make their way up to the garden. As I get ready for bed I hear the distant call of a whippoorwill.

How Much Is That Doggie. . .

Yes, anonymous, I probably should have a little dog as a role model. One thing I could really use is the ability to live in the moment. I contemplate far too much. It’s mostly happy contemplation, but mind-consuming nevertheless. And, sometimes, it’s just a “mad,” that I decide to stay on. I’ve never seen a dog do that—except for the times when Kelly doesn’t get any of my ice cream because it’s chocolate so she turns her back to me and lays on the other side of the room. And I like to think a dog doesn’t worry—but Kelly gets funny when she thinks you’re getting ready to leave and she may not be going with you. And I swear she’s thinking too much, too, when she keeps staring at you trying to figure you out or trying to tell you something and we don’t know what she’s “thinking.” But she does know how to enjoy what comes her way and run joyfully, barefoot, through the grass with the wind in her ears . She definitely follows Rule #1, "When loved ones come home, always run to greet them," and Rule #16, "When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently." I guess the idea of a dog as a role model and a friend is still a good one, but maybe Kelly is a little bit “human.” And if I had a dog, I’d probably be expecting it to be like Kelly and it would just be a little dog. Hmm . . . another thing for me to think about.

The Potting Shed

I am planting my tiny lavender seedlings into larger pots today. It’s been a while since I’ve handled such little plants. The first few seedlings make me feel like all my fingers are thumbs. I’m trying not to disturb the tiny roots while setting them down into dark premoistened potting soil in which I’ve made an opening just the right size for the new plant. I try to push the fresh soil around the roots without mashing them. It gets easier after a while and I develop a comfortable rhythm. Scratch growing plants to sell from my list of possible futures. But growing for myself is definitely right there on top, clumsy as I feel. Working with fragrant plants is an instant “high.” I water them and find I have no way to make a mist fine enough to keep from toppling the little plants right over. I run water into large flats and set the pots into the flats to absorb moisture from below. I make a mental note to buy a fine sprayer. I set the flats into my cold frame and cover them with window screen to provide some shade until they adjust to the outside. I plan to leave them in the cold frame until fall, at least, to allow them to develop strong roots before I transplant them again. A cold frame appeals to my nurturing nature. Providing a shelter for tiny plants evokes the protective feeling I experienced when all my children were small and cozy inside our home, protected from the storms outside. My cold frame is on the warm south side of my garden shed. It is bordered by wild Tartarian honeysuckle on the east side. Brown thrashers and mockingbirds fly through and provide a background of activity along with robins and cardinals. A pair of bluebirds gather nest-building materials. A wren is singing its lilting little song and the cat is asleep under the garden bench. On another day he will be working to control the bird population and I’ll have to work not to be mad at him, but not this morning. The red anemones are beautiful against their background of white strawberry flowers, the snow-in-summer is blending with blue forget-me-nots, the roses are in full bud and a soft breeze stirs bell tones from my chimes hanging from a copper verdigris sun under the shed overhang. I like to think my tiny plants love the world around them as much as I do.

Bloom Where You Are Planted

I spent a lot of time thinking at the beauty shop yesterday between reading “Oprah” and playing with the shop’s little Jack Russell, Max. This morning I was up at 5 a.m. and I played music and thought some more. I listed my many hobbies and interests and considered what I loved and didn’t love about working and not working. I “dug” below my first layer of hobbies to find what it is that I really loved about each one that might give me some insight into my direction for the coming year. I’ve considered going back to teaching, starting a craft business or simply just living. I found the common thread is my love of those things that stimulate the senses. I love good fragrances, textures and flavors. I also love freedom and life. I decided not to give up freedom yet. It’s a good list and I’ll check back with it often. My goal for last year was to get organized and healthy. I did. We created a TV/exercise/game room in our basement where I can now dance and enjoy good movies. I set up my sewing room upstairs where all my sewing, knitting and quilting materials are at hand. There is a little sitting area there for daydreaming over magazines and photos and for curling up with a good book. I have a second kitchen in the basement for crafting and food preservation.

My goal for this coming year is “joy and adventure.” I’ll enjoy my hobbies in depth. I’ll spend a lot of time on each of them. I’ll also spend lots of time being with people I want to be with and seeing some new places. For the rest of spring I’ll plant my flowers and herbs and furnish and decorate my garden shed and porches. This summer I’ll improve my swimming, learn to sail, and spend long summer evenings by the pool and on the deck. Will I go back to work in the fall??? I’ll let that thought just float around for a while. Now I’m going out to my garden shed and get started. My lavender seedlings are ready to transplant into pots and I have crowded perennials in the garden to divide and move.

Dig Until You Find It

Doggie Rule #15 says, "If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it."

I’ve reached my first goal of putting together my own exercise program, my own style of eating and nourishing my spirit. I’ve lost 14 pounds. I’m finding my waist again and my balance and flexibility are noticeably improved. I’m just where I want to be—on my own custom-tailored path to real improvement of health and fitness. My blood pressure is good and going down and my energy level is good. I’m ready to get rid of my books that discuss female fatigue, walking for health, etc., etc.

I’m going to tackle the next big question. Those who don’t care for deep thoughts, look away. I’ll be “digging for what lies buried” until I find it. I’ll be exploring what I want to do for the next year . . . after I go get my hair done.